


Promises To Break, Promises To Keep

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12days of wincestmas, Bottom Sam, Dean is an Idiot, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, Sam is a Sweetheart, Sex, Top Dean, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:24:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9273725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: He promised Sam many things over the years, he'd only managed to keep one.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LaughableLament](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughableLament/gifts).



> It's me! Isn't it kinda funny that you wrote my gift for the j2-xmas-gift-exchange and you got me as wincestmas anon? I think fate wants us to be friends, LOL
> 
> I'm very sorry this is FOUR day late. But life...  
> This is also Unbeta'ed so it might be a complete wreck >_< Sorry for any mistakes.

The sun rays pours into the room, casting the shadow of the window's bars on the worn, grey carpet. Dean stares at the bright spots on the ground with empty eyes, looking, without actually seeing, as he rubs at the elevated skin on his right forearm. 

 

It's been a week since he's last seen Sam.

 

Never once in the past seven days and eleven hours of his self induced solitary did their last meeting leave his mind.  The memory keeps repeating itself, over and over again like a broken record. It plays behind his lids when he closes his eyes, and is scattered pictures on the walls when he has them open. He dreams about it in the few hours he sleeps, and drinking doesn't erase it. He's stuck; 7 days and eleven hours behind the rest of the world. 

 

He misses Sam. 

 

So much so his brother's absence has settled deep in his bones, a throbbing ache that won't quit till he sees Sam, touches him and smells his hair. God, he misses Sam.

 

He's lost the right to all that, he can't hold Sam, he's afraid to be in the same room as his little brother. Not after what happened; not after he hurt him. He wonders if Sammy's skin still has the bruises on it, the evidence of the hits Dean's dealt. And after he promised to never lay a hand on Sam, too. He'd promised, not only his brother, but himself as well, to never again hurt him. He had an excuse -as unacceptable as it is- when he was a demon. But now, now; it's all _him_. Mark of Cain or no.

 

He hangs his head low, covering his face with both hands, and feels his last grasp on sanity slipping. He's thought that staying away would solve everything, but he's too weak to go through with it. Who's he's lying to? He can't live without Sam, can't stay away. But if he went back, how would he face Sammy? What if he couldn't control his temper again? A small argument, that was all it took for him to snap and push Sam hard. The pained gasp that left Sam's throat as his left side made contact with the small bedside table. He'd left immediately, he didn't even stop to check if Sam was seriously hurt.

 

The car keys he's thrown carelessly to the floor mock him, challenge him to pick them up and go fucking fix this, to once face his mistakes instead of running like a coward. Resolved, he gets up and snatches them, running out the door straight to his car.

 

It's long past mid night when he's finally home, and he enters as quietly as possible, Sam would be asleep by now and he might be eager to fix things but he's not _that_ eager. He's scared shitless.

 

His mind is set on heading to his room to suffer another restless night, but his legs don't agree, and he finds himself facing Sam's door.

 

He stands there, like a fool, staring at the door longingly. God, what he wouldn't give to have this door be the only thing between him and Sam, instead of the shouting and his fears and days upon days of distance.

_''Dean, please. It's been two months,''_

_''Sam, no.''_

_''Is this really about the mark or are you just tired of me?''_

_''Sam,''_

_''I'm right, am I not? Fucking look at me, dammit! ''_

_''Cut it out!''_

His angry shout echoes through his brain, once more and he remembers how much force was in that push, Sam was hurt.

 

 _He_ hurt Sam.

 

He places his hand on the wood, can't bring himself to go inside, can't bring himself to leave this spot. So he sits on the cold floor, and leans against the wall. Not like he was going to sleep.

 

 

''Dean? Oh my God, Dean! ''

 

Dean wakes up to sweet warmth all around him, and he'd be thankful if it wasn't for  his neck, and his back, he totally lost the sensation is his legs. The hold around him tightens and he takes note of it, why he hadn't reacted violently like he might have. It's Sam. Sam is holding him and he's crying into his shoulder. He's mumbling what sounds like Dean's name, over and over.

 

''Hey, Sammy, shhh,'' Sam is shaking like a leaf in his arms and he's lost as what to do. ''Sammy, please,''

 

''Dean, I thought you won't come back, I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry,''

 

Apparently, that's the end of the rope for Dean. He pulls back and before Sam can misread his action; he cups his face and kisses him breathless.

 

''Don't apologize to me, I fucked up everything, Sammy, God baby. I'm so sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry, forgive me?'' And even when he's undeserving, Sam nods and kisses him again.

 

It's been over two months since the last time they've touched like this, and the heat of it melts Dean's inhibitions like wax. Their lips and hands are desperate, pushing clothes aside as they stumble their way into Sam's bed.

 

''God, Sam. I missed you so much,'' And he has no one to blame but himself, how many times had he pushed Sam away only to regret it later, it's about time he learns from his past mistakes.

 

Between them, they get Dean naked and Sam mostly undressed, with only his Shirt hanging open and ignored as Dean splays him on the bed, immediately taking his place between Sam's spread thighs.

 

When he's inside Sam, it's almost too hot, the air grows humid with their laboured breathing. Sam wrap his legs around Dean's waist, pulling him closer. The warmth of it all, Sam's scent and the sounds he's making; desperate and passionate, is too much and Dean has to close his eyes for a moment.

 

''I'm so sorry,'' He's repeating with every thrust, Sam's body accepting his as he falls into his brother again.

 

Sam's hands cups his neck and lifts his head, his sweet pleas are more than enough of a command for Dean to open his eyes.

 

''I don't Care, Dean. I swear I don't,''

 

 

He feels the sincerity in these words, and it sends his heart into a frenzy, because he knows what's Sam is going to say next and he is as undeserving of these word as he is of this bless Sam grants him.

 

''I love you, and I don't care if you hurt me, or if you end up killing or whatever, just please,'' there are tears in Sam's eyes, shining but refusing to fall ''Please don't leave me,''

 

He has nothing to offer in return for Sam's love, he's small and stupid in the face of its intensity, and he can't do anything but gather his little brother closer, holds him tight and whisper a promise to his skin.

 

''Never again, little brother.''

 

And this promise, he will keep.  

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think?


End file.
